Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it was like eating out sand paper
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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