Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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