You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
