all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
