you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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