That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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