she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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