porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
