I wish they made helmets for livers.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
