Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize