super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize