Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize