Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
