Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
