um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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