At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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