The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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