So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
