I want to make a zoo with you.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I need water and some morals
Randomize
