No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
