Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
