we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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