Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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