I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
