i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
