all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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