Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
