i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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