So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
