I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
