Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
