This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
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