Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize