this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Just high enough for therapy.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
