"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize