Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
