I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
