so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
