I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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