plz talk dirty to me
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
