bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize