Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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