I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
