No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
