Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
