Your dad touched me again.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize