who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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