I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think my vagina is haunted
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
