you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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