Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
