hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
In other news, I just burned my penis
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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