one might say we're banned from that church
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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