none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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