3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
