I am puke
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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