You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
is it fun? or sober?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
