it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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