I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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