Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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