Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
