If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
