Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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