Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
