dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
