hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
