Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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