the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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