Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
