Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
me + whiskey = a bad person
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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