Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
