we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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