i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
