So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
