You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
She's the barista slut.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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