He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
