Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
