id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Found your dick twin last night
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize